Co-Dependecy... Learn The Characteristics and Patterns

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that often can be passed down from one generation to another. 

It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects a person’s ability to have a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship.

Co-dependency was first described and termed regarding people being in chemical dependency patterns and those who aided their addictions.

Today it is observed in individuals who are in relationships with chronically or mentally ill individuals as well as any co-dependent person from any type of a dysfunctional relationship.

Individuals who are co-dependent have low self-esteem and tend to look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They progressively develop a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” 

When the caretaking becomes compulsive of the Co-dependent person, they can feel as if they have no other choice but to help and they are unable to break away from the cycle of dysfunctional behavior.

Individuals who are Co-dependents look at themselves as the victims and are attracted to that same type of weakness and dysfunction in love and friendship relationships.

Some Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

They have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.

The can confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue.

They feel hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts.

They have an unhealthy dependence on relationships. 

The co-dependent will do just about anything to hold on to a relationship so that they avoid feeling abandoned.

They have an extreme need for approval and recognition.

They do not trust other people.

They have problems identifying their feelings.

They have problems with change, intimacy, and boundaries.

They have anger issues and are often dishonest and indecisive.

If you or someone that you know demonstrates co-dependent behaviors, there is help. Counseling can help.

       Reference- Mental Health America


1 Corinthians 10:13:  “You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and he will show you how to escape from your temptations.”

By Diane Gammon MS

Clinical Mental Health Counselor

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