Parental Self-Care- A parent or guardian needs to
demonstrate self-care and realize
that they are first, very worthy and loved by God themselves. They need their emotional love tank to be filled
and take care of themselves first before they can be what they need to be for another
person.
A Child’s Needs- After a parent/ guardian implements self-care and self-love, then they can better show their child love in ways in which can fill their child’s emotional love tank. If a child or teenager does not have their emotional love tank full from a parent or guardian, it will profoundly affect their behavior and mood.
A Child/ Teen needs:
1.) To feel Loved 3.) To feel Accepted
2.) To feel Connected 4.) To feel Nurtured.
Unconditional Love and Acceptance- A child or teen needs
to know that you accept them even when you do not approve of their behavior. They
need to know that your love for them is unconditional and that there is nothing
that they cannot do that will get them from you loving and accepting them.
Show your love with the 5 Love languages:
1.)
Affirmation- Give them words of praise, “I am so proud of
you for...” Give them words affection, “I love you.” Leave them notes to show them that you love
and care.
2.)
Physical Touch- Touch your child and teen. If you as their
parent or guardian do not show them love and affection by appropriate touch,
they will seek it elsewhere. Do not force it, but experiment when you can
touch them to show them your love such as a high five handshake, rub their
neck, rub their feet, give them a hug, reach out and hold their hand when you
pray, pat them on the back, stroke their head, have ‘group hug’ when possible
as a family or with friends and your child.
3.)
Quality Time- Make the time to spend quality time with your
child. When they speak to you, do not be doing something else. Look at your
child when they talk to you and make eyes contact. Also, reflect back wheat you
hear them saying to you. Take an interest in their interests and spend time
just being with them. Listen for how they are feeling and express understanding
and support to them. Ask about their day and act interested when they answer
you. Make plans to do something with them, even if it is at home for twenty
minutes. Be creative! Be their cheerleader and encourager!
4.)
Acts of Service- Do things for your child to show them how much
you care for them. Help them (lovingly) to do things that they need to do for school
or with a chore.
5.) Gifts- Give little gifts when appropriate. It can be as small as
a chocolate candy kiss left on their school books with a handmade card that
tells them that you love them and are thinking of them. Remember that time with
them is the best possible gift!
The Five Love Languages for Children and Teenagers (By Gary Chapman)
Happy Parenting!
Happy Parenting!
Blog Website LivingWithHopeCounseling.com
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