In Order to Give to Others, You Have to Take Care of Yourself First!

I tried to be the best Supermom possible several years ago. I put my children first and took care of their every need and their every desire that I possibly could.

I was and am a single mother and I worked two to three jobs while I home schooled my children and pursued further college degrees. 

In a few houses that I rented, I gave all of my children their own bedrooms and I slept on the floor in a corner of the living or dining room. 

I took my children to counseling during and after my divorce and when the counselors asked me how I was doing and suggested that I get some help, I put my hand up to stop them and always said that I was good. I was thinking....I am a good mom, what else is there to even be addressed! 

I took my children to Sunday School so they would have hope and learn about Jesus and I would sit in the lobby near their classes to make sure that they were safe. When one of the pastors would ask about me periodically and why I was not in a class, I would put my hand up again to stop him just as I did with the counselors and I again- I said that I was good. Again, I was being a great mom....what else mattered?      

My children were extremely cared for in every way and they were involved in every kind of activity that a good parent would involve their children in. I was Supermom.

I thought I was being a wonderful mother but I learned that I should have done things differently. I should have given myself a bedroom and I should have taken better care of myself in many ways. 

I literally just catered to my children. I learned that children need to see their parents take care of themselves, to learn to do things for themselves, and that it is even healthy for children to see their parents enjoy life. 

I thought that if I did anything for myself that I was being selfish when in fact I was being ignorant because I almost ruined my health multiple times.

Looking back, I tried to overcompensate for my children enduring a divorce. While I was Supermom, there were many times when money was so tight that I did not know where my children's next meal would come from. They never went without food but as you can guess, I did.

I felt guilty for having to work and not pouring more time, attention, and love into my children than I was. But my children were cared for and loved. I remember telling a friend that I felt bad for my children and she said that I gave my children more love than several sets of parents! 

I was Supermom..............

We have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. This means that we need to demonstrate self-care physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, and so on.

It is all about balance. 

You can be Supermom or Super care-taker but take time for YOU!

Self-care is not selfish- it is essential!  

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 By Diane Gammon M.S.
             Clinical Mental Health Counselor

Now Open Full-Time: Monday Through Friday,  
With Evening Appointments

Sliding Scale Fee for Individual Counseling Sessions 

Free Support Groups for: Depression, Anxiety, Panic, Hopelessness, Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, and Grief and Loss (Including Miscarriage/ Stillbirth/ Infant loss)

Email- Diane@LivingWithHopeCounseling.com

(615) 556-8406