Welcome to my Health Blog about Restoring Hope & Health. Follow my new page on FB, SelfCareSmart! If you or someone you know is suicidal and needs immediate help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or Text: HOME to 741741. I am a Board Certified and Licensed Professional Clinical Mental Health Counselor. Call or text (615) 556-8406 or email HopeHelp911@aol.com to contact me with questions or for a free consultation. There is ALWAYS HOPE!
Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is when an individual experiences a trauma
themselves personally or they were exposed to one.The kind of trauma that I am referring to is
something that was very tragic and/ or frightening to an individual.
PTSD is defined as exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or
sexual violence by the following ways:
something tragic has happened to a close friend or family member
extreme and/ or repeated exposure to details of traumatic events (such as first
Also, someone who is experiencing
PTSD has recurrent and involuntarily intrusive symptoms, dissociative reactions
such as flashbacks, and intense psychological and physiological distress.
Individuals with PTSD also often have the following
Difficulty with concentration
They are startled easily
Reckless and self-destructive behaviors
Experiences persistence negative
emotions and beliefs
Diminished interest in activities
Anxiety and depression symptoms
Feelings of helplessness, horror, and fear
usually surface during the first 3 months of a trauma but can also be delayed
for long periods of time, even years.
There are many
treatment options to assist with PTSD recovery. A clinical mental health
professional can help someone who has PTSD to recover and heal from the effects of trauma.
There is hope
and healing for PTSD. I am a thriving survivor of PTSD. Reference Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), (2013). American Psychiatric Association Publishing
graduations happening during this time, I thought that it would be fitting to talk about
pursuing your dreams. One needs to PURSUE a dream and just not daydream about them.
Like anything that you want to achieve in life, you need to work at pursuing
your dreams as well.
A good way
to do this is to write out your goals, dreams, and passions. Then write down
specific goals and small steps that you can take to work toward them. However small the
first step may be- write it down and start pursing it –with where you are right now and
with what you are able to do right now.
obtained my “Dream College Degree”- which was work!! I was in college the same
time as one of my daughters and we were both interning at the same time.
Thus, it is never too
late to pursue your dreams!! And remember- Dreams don’t work unless you
Take the first small
step toward your goals and keep on walking!
not exist- mainly or even largely- of facts and happenings. It consists mainly
of the storm of thoughts that are forever blowing through one’s mind." Mark
We are often our own
worse enemy. Our negative thoughts cripple us and paralyze us from living a
Evaluate your attitude regularly and
see if it is self-defeating. Acknowledge if it is and admit that it needs to
Get fresh air, sunshine, and regular
exercise. This will help you feel better emotionally as well as physically.
Become accountable with how you are
doing with trying to be more positive and with living more of a healthy life style
physically and mentally. Make a list of things in your life that you need to change and start rebuilding your life one step at a time.
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Become
thankful for the blessings in your life.
Learn to implement self- care and to
take the time to do things for yourself that you enjoy. Explore your interests
Work through any anger and hurts that
are aiding in your self-defeating attitudes and behaviors.
Discipline yourself to make the needed changes. Writing down positive affirmations on sticky notes and posting them where you can read them daily can help.
Remember- that how you think
will affect how you feel and then how you act.
Anger can be positive or
negative.Anger is a useful and
necessary emotion that is a sign that something may be troubling. Anger can
also be misinterpreted by others as coming across as demeaning,
disrespectful, and threatening.
Some coping skills that
can help to mange anger are deep breathing, positive self-talk, imagery, and
walking away until calm.
Another way to help manage anger is to demonstrate
assertiveness instead of aggression when angry.
Talking in a calm manner and using
appropriate communication skills can also be helpful.
Here are some steps to
help you when you feel an anger outburst coming on:
a. Self-monitor your feelings b. Let others know that it is not a good idea to
talk when you are angry
c. Acknowledge that you may need to
take a break from others temporarily.
d. Separate for a cooling down period. Walk, take deep breaths, count, and think of a soothing thought such as waves on the beach.
e. Return to the person(s) and communicate calmly.
James 1:19-20Know this, my beloved brothers: let
every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of
man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Proverbs 19:11Good sense makes one slow to anger, and
it is his glory to overlook an offense.
come in contact with another person, it may be the only contact that they have
with another human being for quite awhile.
You do not
know what they may be going through. Just a smile could literally make their day.
A friendly hello could help them gain hope in their lives.
Be the sunshine
in some one's day today!
When you bless others, you will be blessed even more than them!
new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved
you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you
are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
Many of my
clients ask me why a loving God lets horrible and sad things happen to them.
I have also had clients ask
me why God did not protect them from getting abused, especially when they were
a helpless child.
them all the same.
We live in a fallen world in which has sin.
Further, humans have
also been given free will.
is loving, the world is full of brokenness with heart aches, disasters, crisis,
diseases, and suffering.
Our Hope is
in Heaven and we are only passing through.
Try to grow
from your suffering and ask God what he wants you to learn from it.
When I am
suffering and stretched, I ask the Lord to grow me and use me. I don’t understand.
I just trust Him to make good out of my heartaches and messes because He promises
that He will.
We may not understand why
terrible things happen to us but God loves us and nothing can separate us from
allows things to happen to us that are unfortunate but He is also always with
us and He will help us to get through the suffering.
For I am sure that neither death nor
life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,
nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will
bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6
we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for
those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 When you are hurting, try to talk to someone to help you sort it all out and to help you through your suffering. We may not understand the 'whys' but there is always hope .... and you will heal.
we often set rules and guidelines for our children to follow. When they do not follow
through with what we expect of them, there are consequences for their behaviors.
However, how many of us
parents take the time to reinforce our children and teens positive behaviors on a consistent basis?
Think of ways
in which you can reinforce your children and teens positive behaviors and write
them down to help you to implement them.
are simply to verbally point out good behaviors to them. Let them know that you
noticed their good behavior. You can reinforce positive behaviors by telling your
children that you are proud of them. You can acknowledge and reinforce appropriate
behaviors by writing a note to your child, renting them a movie, planning a special
fun time together, giving them an extra privilege, GIVING THEM MORE OF YOUR TIME, and so on.
For young children, you can make a chart and have them put on stickers when they do what is expected of them with a great attitude.
important thing is to acknowledge that you notice and appreciate your child’s
good behaviors which in turn will reinforce it.
I make it a point to tell my teenager
multiple times a day that I am proud of her. I tell her face to face. I have a
notebook on the kitchen counter and I write it down daily to her in a note. I
also write it down on an index card along with a positive quote and / or
scripture and place it in her lunch daily. On this index card, I also tell her that she is my sunshine and for her to be the sunshine for Jesus during her day at school.
Along with telling her how proud I am
of her in many ways all day, I also tell her how much that I love her several
times a day also.
I also point out specifically what all I am proud of her for and I try and thank her and acknowledge when she is helpful and when I see her trying her best.
Knowing and Doing are Two Different Things. One of my closest friends has told me this a few times through the years.
When we see others repeat mistakes AFTER they admit that they have learned from them- our thoughts are….....OMG - Knowing and Doing are two different things!!
So, this is just a
reminder to apply the wisdom and knowledge to your life of what you know and
what you know has NOT worked in your life.
Thus, what is the definition of insanity..............? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result! Learn from others and learn from your your own mistakes and apply what you learn to your life. If you don't change anything- nothing changes!
Most of us
have heard that it is wise to have a positive mental attitude. It is true that this can be beneficial.
How a person
thinks can facilitate how they feel and then how they act and behave.
So, if you
are dwelling on the negative side of things, then this can make you feel worse about
things. Further, it can then result in it effecting your actions as well.
So, try your
best to think positive and joyful
and practice saying positive affirmations about yourself and / a situation. If
things do not turn out the way that you had desired even after thinking
positive, then tell yourself that you will make the best out of the outcome and
try to be positive again!
While it can
be necessary to acknowledge negative truth, you can make the choice to focus on
the positive aspects and blessings!
It will make yourself feel better and can also help
with you carrying yourself more confident! This will help you to be more productive!
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.Philippians 4:8
Most of all at some
point in our lives strive for things to be different. We strive for things to
be better. We look forward to something in our future.
For a teenager- it is
possibly turning 18. I worked with a teenager yesterday who was 16. She said
that she just couldn’t wait until she was 18 so she could live on her own. Her Father and I told her about the responsibilities that came with this desire and
she was oblivious to them. She could not comprehend the concept.
Adults even do this.
Many of them think that their life will be just perfect when they find that
perfect mate for them and get married. Yes, marriage can be wonderful. However,
it is also work.
Furthermore, we need to be happy with ourselves before we
can be happy with someone else.
Dream. Seek. Pursue. Aspire.
sure that you enjoy the journey and the blessings along the way and not just focus
on the end pursuit. Also, try and learn from the experiences and life lessons along the way. This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
Many of us have
experienced domestic abuse. This abuse can be mental, emotional, physical, and
sexual. Many forms of abuse come in the
form of control as well. Many abusers control their victims as a way of
demonstrating their power over them.
Most victims of domestic abuse leave their
abuser or attempt to leave them around 12 times before they leave for good.
many reasons for this. There are barriers for someone who is being abused that
makes it difficult to leave their abusive situation.
thing that a victim of abuse needs to know is that they do not deserve to be
abused and that they are never stuck in staying. It may feel as if they are
trapped and unable to leave their abusive situation.
However, if you have been abused, remember
that there is ALWAYS a way out! There is always help and there is always hope!
You may feel like people blame you
and some may blame you and say that you are not a victim. But you do not need
to worry about who believes what.
Hold your head up high and believe in
yourself and in the truth. Most importantly, believe that you are worthy of
being treated with respect.
Will it be frightening to leave? Yes... but it is possible.
Will it be emotionally and probably
financially difficult to leave? Yes....but it is possible.
Can you fully heal from the abuse and traumatic scars? Yes....yes.... and yes....!
Talk to a trusted friend.
Talk to a
Call a domestic abuse shelter and/ a hotline for help.
Remember that abusers are often
manipulative and that they say that they will change.
They may change for a
while but most go back to their abusive behaviors.
Statistically, only near 20% of
abusers are able to change their behaviors long -term with professional help.
HOPE AND THERE IS HELP!
national Domestic abuse hotline number is:1-800-799-7233
No matter your
circumstances, you CAN get help!
And- what you have
endured DOES NOT HAVE TO DICTATE YOUR FUTURE!
THERE IS LIFE AND
HEALING AFTER ABUSE!
If you are being abused,
reach out to someone who can help you today.
I am a thriving survivor of domestic violence, abuse, and trauma and you can be too!
God does not want you to live in abuse.
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ...2 Timothy 3:1-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7